I'm not really a big fan of chinese horror movies because most of them basically involve someone throwing up centipedes for 20 minutes and then 2 wizards shoot some fireballs at each other. Thankfully these 2 are different. Scorpion Thunderbolt is by Godfrey Ho, the master of taking footage from 3 or 4 other movies and making a brand new one. It has a woman reporter who is cursed by a witch to turn into a snake monster who attacks people so the witch can have blood. Then Richard Harrison (star of about 100 Ninja movies) shows up and the movie goes all 9 1/2 Weeks for a minute until we realize that he has this ring that is the only thing that can stop the witch and the witch keeps sending people to kill him. We get some angry dancing to Herbie Hancock type music and some more killing by the snake monster and then the reporter falls in love (with a cop no less) which leads to the big showdown with the whole police force. I didn't even mention the flute playing guy who keeps showing up for no reason or the crazy cat eating guy who the police try to catch using a big net. I don't think there are enough drugs on the planet to recreate what was captured here.
Oily Maniac is a more straightforward story of a handicapped guy whose uncle gives him a secret spell that will turn him into an invincible sludge monster. He works at this sleazy lawyer's office and ends up seeing so much corruption and evil doing that it drives him nuts and forces him to turn into the sludge monster to exact revenge - are you trying to molest the girl he loves? - he'll smash you! - Are you the illegal plastic surgeon who botches jobs and gets away with it? - He'll stomp your head! He can have humanoid form to pound on you like a wrestler or move more swiftly as a blob and cover over your car as you try to get away. He's almost like a super hero and this plays like one of those 1950's rubber monster matinees - except with a lot more raping and head squishing.
No comments:
Post a Comment