Lost Empire (1985 83 minutes)

Some yo-yo wielding ninjas kill some cops while looking for a secret stone so the sister of one the cops (who is also a cop)  has to go to this island with 2 other woman to halt a skull faced cult leader's  evil plans for some kind of world domination (it was all explained in one of those scroll down intros). This has a decapitation, a sword through the head, a robot spider, lesbian prison dominatrix battles, about 50 boobs, the tall guy from Phantasm and more one liners than an old Bob Hope movie, but the real reason to see this is Blackie Dammett. Blackie, who is the dad of the Red Hot Chili Peppers singer,( he lives around here and now looks like Count Bloodcount from that old Bugs Bunny cartoon) had a small film career in stuff like Lethal Weapon and even

an episode of Alf. Here he plays a sniveling cop who secretly works for the cult too. He wanders around the island with a gorilla on a chain looking for women to molest (not much of a stretch from real life). In the end he gets his crotch blown off by a very phallic looking laser. That was like the cherry on top of this awesome birthday cake