Wednesday, April 27, 2011

R.O.T.O.R (1988 89 minutes)

Back when gas was 69 cents a gallon, director Cullen Blaine had a vision of a Texas sized combination or Robocop and Terminator. Robotic Officer Tactical Operation Research is the brainchild of Coldyron, a no nonsense Dallas police captain who just wants to get the scum off the streets. His cyborg cop is outfitted with a combat chassis made of an 'unknown' alloy, has a standard cop mustache, and  the ability to see backwards through time. He is also rendered helpless by honking your car horn repeatedly. After Coldyron has an argument with some politican over funding, ROTOR gets prematurely released in an accident and proceeds to wreak havoc on a couple caught speeding. He shoots the guy and spends the rest of the movie chasing the woman all over Texas. It's up to Coldyron to put an end to the robotic killing spree.
  
This has the best dialog west of a David Mamet play:
"I'll make more noise than 2 skeletons making love in a tin coffin, BROTHER"
"The only difference between heroes and villains is is the amount of compensation they receive for  their services"
"I got more than a newspaper, and you get to guess what it is"
"You look like you got both eyes comin' out of the same whole"
"ROTOR will walk through a busload of nuns to get to a jaywalker"
Plus there's so much more: the suave janitor Shooboogie (whose Native American anecdote is referenced at the climax), a comic relief robot that reads Creepy magazine, a guy with giant fake buck teeth, a nice 'going out to lunch' music montage, and Coldyron's scientist partner who looks like a cross between Bride of Frankenstein and a wrestler from GLOW.
I would say Mr. Blaine got it just right


 





1 comment:

  1. This is one of the silliest knock off films I've ever seen from the 80's. I personally got excited when I found the VHS of it a while back. It's like some sort of relic of "bad". So bad that my friends and I got bored enough to give it the "riff" treatment along with other wacky 80's films. Check it out when you get some time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSVCWXUa_zc

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